Our fourth instalment
proved very much to be a story of two halves. We began with a quest to find a
lost object. But why did the object carry so much significance in the first
place? Well the answer lay firmly in the living room of Johnny Moon’s family, as
a ‘gritty’ northern, kitchen-sink drama emerged, and for the first time, we
meet Johnny’s dad…
Waking up under a lamppost is rarely a sensible thing. Few do it for
choice, and in this particular case, Johnny Moon, renowned musician, woke up to
a terrible surprise: His violin has been stolen! It was a priceless
Stradivarius with Horsefeather Strings and a pure Bavarian Oak Mahogany body.
Each tuning peg had been delicately engraved with a letter to spell the word
M-O-L-E and its market value was estimated at 28million Crowns. It was
irreplaceable.
A distraught Johnny is discovered by a bumbling police officer,
determined to help locate the instrument. Things are complicated further when
Johnny’s mother comes to tell Johnny that they expect a private concert that
very evening to celebrate his father’s birthday. The hunt for the violin
suddenly becomes a lot more urgent. The kindly officer suggests that they take
a visit to the black market…
Meanwhile… at the black market… two sinister old women are cradling the
violin that they have lifted from Johnny’s person earlier that morning. Unaware
of its value, they think they’ll be able to pawn it off in exchange for some
lunch (they like lunch). Johnny and the Officer confront the old women, where
Johnny foolishly explains in great detail the violins true worth. The old
women, flabbergasted by the amount of lunch they can buy with 28million Crowns
(they like lunch), run away and a chase scene unfolds.
Eventually, the old women realise they’ve bitten off more than they can
chew. They sell it to the nearest person they can find: a mysterious beggar man
in a bright blue cloak. This beggar man happens to have 28million Crowns on his
person (both coincidental and curious) and purchases the violin. The old women
retire to lunch (they like lunch).
Meanwhile, with the violin nowhere in sight, a grim reality sets on
Johnny: he is going to have to tell his family that he lost his violin. His
Father, a curmudgeonly old grouch, initially welcomes Johnny back into the
family. Because of his prodigal talents Johnny has always been the favourite
child, much to the dismay of his put-upon younger sister Samantha - who can
only play “the Cello *shudder*”. When Johnny breaks the news, his father flies
off the handle, disowning Johnny and promoting Samantha from the basement
to the “Previously untouched but perfectly usable front bedroom”. Determined to
not let Samantha have something good happen to her, Johnny vows to get his
violin back.
Meanwhile, the mysteriously wealthy beggar man discovers something
hidden in the violin – a key. But what does it open? He does not have time to
find out, as he is apprehended by the simple police officer and is revealed as Raphael
Lugaggi, of the Lugaggi Crime Family. With the police officer finally doing
something right, the villain can be put away and the violin restored to its
rightful owner.
But the Police Officer makes another error... he returns the violin to Samantha
instead. The jaded sister threatens to overshadow Johnny’s big performance and
she can be the favourite child once and for all.
Meanwhile, the birthday party is swinging. Well, only three people turn
up, but it’s still quite the gathering. With Dad still despondent over losing
his favourite child, and being stuck Samantha, Johnny enters explaining that
Samantha has his violin. Dad is surprised but revels in pitching his two
children against each other in a battle for his love. Various musical
renditions of “Shame on a N***a” by Wu-Tang-Clan ensue until eventually Johnny emerges
triumphant.
Johnny’s dad explains that the key opens up a safe that stores all of
his metaphorical love for his children, and that Johnny can have it all. An
impassioned speech follows, where Johnny explains that a father should love all
his children equally. It isn’t enough just to love the talented one, or the
pretty one, or the one with the most friends (all of which are Johnny, by the
way), and that Johnny had been so scared that his father would be ashamed of
him that he hadn’t even admitted that he’d been sleeping under a lamppost for
weeks.
The family crisis is resolved when Dad sees the error of his ways. Johnny
is allowed to share the metaphorical love and moves into the basement, with
Samantha moving into the bedroom she always dreamed of. Johnny will return to retake
his music examinations and the world is at peace again.
“That was a brave thing you did there Johnny... calling me a racist old
fart.”
Cast
Stan Hodgson – Johnny Moon, Raphael Lugaggi
Matthew David Lewis – Police Officer, Johnny’s Dad
Katie Peel – Old Woman #1, Johnny’s Mum
Meghan Doyle – Old Woman #2, Samantha
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